What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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