A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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800 people died last year. end of story

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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