Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops