You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than dropping your ice cream cone Your dad having brian cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops