Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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roses are red , thankyou for stating that , i can now continue with gardening as it is my profession.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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9

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sure!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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