What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

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There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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