- Anti Joke

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

Knock Knock No solicitors

what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

KONY 2012! world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender, upon seeing him, asks him to leave. The black man is enraged by the blatant racism shown by this man, and proceeds to punch the bartender repeatedly. After 5 minutes of non-stop punching the man stops, looks at his victim, and is filled with remorse. He is dead. Upon looking around, the black man notices scaffolding and building equipment scattered around the room. He falls to the ground as he realizes the bar is still under construction, and unable to serve customers this early in development. The bartender was simply asking the man to leave for his own safety.

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

What did the black guy get from his white girlfriend for valentines day? An HIV positive test result.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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