How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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He was as tall as a 6 foot 3 tree.

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Get on the boat.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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