I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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