Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops