Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops