Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why? Why not?

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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