What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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