i like turtles

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What happened to the mentaly challenged person is walking down the street? He pooped on the sidewalk and got escorted to his house

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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Mooses

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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how many tentacles did the mentally retarded octopus have? answer: 8!

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Why are pills white? Cause they work.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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