What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

Uh... What was emulating again?

What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist -Tag

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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