- Anti Joke

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG dead RESURRECTION! Phew...

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

dat shoe shine tho

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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