A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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How would you rule?

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops