A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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why did the mexican stab those people? why? he didn't you racist

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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canada

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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