What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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There once was a boy walking down the street. He got shot in the head. He died.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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