A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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whats better than 7 babies in one trash can 1 baby in 7 trash cans

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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