Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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alert("Hello");

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops