What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +22

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

thumb_up thumb_down +22

star wars kid

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops