What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Massie is a fatass

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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9/11 my birthday

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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