You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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