Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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The Princess is in another castle

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Two biscuits were sitting in an oven. One says to the other hows it going, the other says nothing because he knows that biscuits can't talk.

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops