patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

why is the man laughing. he isn't, he's just been informed he has testicular cancer.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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