Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

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Grace Ackerson

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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A seal walks into a club.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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read me write me

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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