A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Chick Norris... Enough said

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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Mr. T watched "the notebook"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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