What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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you give like i give lomain

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops