why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

Hobos are like Obama they want change.

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

#IHateHashtags

Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

Grace Ackerson

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

hey guys im gay

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...