What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

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A man walks in to a bar. He then walks in to a different bar, and later that evening he goes into a different third bar. That man is a bar critique.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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