Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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( . Y . )

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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