A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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all your base are belong to mark

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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