never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Why did the duck cross the road? To get cream cheese.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Lindsay Lohan

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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