A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

What's clear and looks like water? Water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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