Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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