Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats 1+1? The answer!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the man say to his doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Smoke weed till i die nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops