If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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