Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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1+1=2

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

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Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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