What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

Rush Limbaugh

Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

i have yougurt mit traktor

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

The Ohio State Buckeyes

Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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