How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

thumb_up thumb_down +21

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops