Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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THe Election

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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