How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Why was Susie's mom crying? Because Susie got hit by a bus

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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KOOKABURRA

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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