I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

BIM slowly fucks old women in the dark so they think its rape then he slips his hand up there ass and rips out there heart

What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

Women's Rights Movement

What did the POW say to his captor? I do not want to be waterboarded.

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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