What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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What's the difference between getting hit by a car and being struck by lightning? Impossible to tell, they are 2 entirely different circumstances with limited certainties.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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a young mother cow died in a street crossing by a large oil truck, she was never buried and became infested with maggots in the next few days

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Trash gets dumped Just like you

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Two tomatoes where crossing the road, when one of them barely avoided being run over. The other said, come on tomato!

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big penis.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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