What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops