A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call an arab ?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down -18

69

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the plumber fix the leaky faucet? Trick question. The plumber is actually an iguana.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

hashtags suck balls

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

can you touch your toes? no

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops