What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Porn

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

roy g biv

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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