A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops