You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

What is square and grey? A grey square.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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