What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

Why wad six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sexual offender.

Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

What do you call someone who's sad? A depressed person

Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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