A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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